Saturday, April 29, 2006

It's Not Over Yet.

I jumped to my feet. "Master Durron! But what...? How....?" I was so confused. I was suddenly home. Had I fallen asleep while I was mediating? No, that couldn't be possible. I definitely left to go train with the Rouge squadron. So how come I was home?
"Come with me. I'll explain everything on the way." I followed him wanting answers. When he didn't speak for a minute I prompted him. "Uh... Master?"
"Yes, Jaina Solo?" He seemed determined to make me ask the whole question. I sighed. "How did I get away from...."I searched for the right word, unable to find one I had to make do with, "that place?"
Master Durron, stopped suddenly nearly making me walk into him. He gazed at me with his piercing eyes. After about a minute he sighed and said simply, "Force Transportation."
I was confused. "Force Transportation? I transported myself back here using the Force?"
He turned and kept walking. I was nearly running to keep up with him. "That's right." He really wasn't giving me any answers. I had to keep pushing him for information. "I've never heard of Force Transportation. How can I do something I've never heard of?"
He turned to look at me. "Though you may be a Jedi Knight in name Jaina, you still have much to learn." He sighed again. "A Jedi can only use Transportation when they desire solely to get to that place. We do not make common knowledge of the fact that it can be used as many see it as a misuse of Jedi powers."
I nodded. I could understand that. What I couldn't understand was why I hadn't been able to use it sooner, before I strangled Hobbie. When I asked Master Durron he grabbed me by the shoulders. "You nearly KILLED Hobbie?" he demanded.
"I didn't mean to! I lost control." He was really scaring me. I had never seen him like this before. "D...Didn't you know?"
He realized what he was doing and let go of me. "Sorry, Padawan." He shook his head. "No. None of us knew what was happening. All we knew was that there was a shift in the Force and that shift was centered around you."
"So why did I keep having visions of you telling me to come home?"
"I knew that there was something seriously wrong when we couldn't reach the Rouge Squadron. I meditated on you for hours, hoping that some message would get through to you. I know how dangerous the Dark Side can be." He trailed off there and I left it at that.

After a few minutes I realised where Master Durron was taking me. "Uh... Master? Why are we going to the Council Chambers?"
"A meeting is about to begin. When the other Master's learn that you have returned they will want you there."
I was stunned. I didn't want to face the council just yet. I hadn't even seen Jacen yet!
"Can I speak to Jacen before I go in?"
"No."
Can he come in with me?"
"No."
"But Master..."
"No." He cut though me. "You complain as much as your Uncle. You must do this now, without him."
I sighed. We walked in silence to the Council Chamber.
Master Durron turned to face me. "Wait here until we call you." And he went in leaving me outside to wonder what the Council would think of my recent actions.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

"Welcome Home"

Wedge is so sweet! He spent the best part of 3 hours adjusting the ship’s position so that the Dark side didn’t have such a strong pull on me. Ok so after that he did have the med-droids practly take me prisiner but he just wanted to check that I was fine.

Wedge spent some time talking to me and it seems like I am their only hope to get out of this mess. As I got ready to fly blind into hyperspace Jagged Fel came to wish me luck. “Don’t lose your way out there, Jaina.” He pleaded.
“Too late,” I told him. “I’m already lost.”

As I climbed into the cockpit I had a flash of Kyp Durron. “Come home.” He siad and then it was gone. There were pre-flight checks and warnings going on all around me. “You’re incharge of the whole fleet Lt. Solo. May the Force be with you.”

As we jumped to hyperspace I could feel the black hole pulling us back, I focused on finding a trickle of light. What was that? Yes! There it was, a small trickle of the Force and it was growing stronger. I adjusted the flight path 30 degrees starboard so we were flying straight along it. Wait! There was another path, this one in a long arc continuning starboard. I followed the second one. It felt better some how. It was there I had another flash of Kyp. His silence seemed almost critical. And then no! The trail had dissapeared! I couldn’t find it again and there was no other. I pulled out of hyperspace. The answer was shown straight away. I had led us right back to where we started.

Back in the landing bay the whole squadron was looking at me. “I lost the line. I’m sorry. There was another path I could have followed but I chose the wrong one.”
I was exhausted. That trip had drained me of all my energy and as I headed back to my room I got the feeling that this trial would all be over soon.
Commander Antillies caught up with me. I turned to him and spoke before he had the chance to. “Follow my original flight path, then turn 30 degrees starboard. You should be fine.” I grabbed his hand. “It’s been great working with you again Commander.” And he let me walk off without a word. Before I headed up the stairs I met Jagged. He looked so sad; I think that we both knew, without knowing that this was good-bye. I had know idea how we knew. I just had this feeling that a way home would be shown to me in a dream. I kissed gently him on the cheek. “Try not to be too mad at me Jag.” I took advantage of his silence to get up to my room, where I fell into a dream filled sleep.




Kyp was standing in front of me smiling, stretching out his hand. “Come back now Jaina.” He said. I looked at my hand and I found that I could lift it, I placed it in his hand and the dream faded but Kyp stayed real.



I opened my eyes, I was lying in the mediation room in the Jedi Temple. I looked up. Kyp was smiling at me. “Welcome home.”

Sunday, April 23, 2006

What Have I Done?

I can’t believe that I did what I did! I’ve locked myself in my room for the past few days. I’m so scared. I just can’t believe that I did it. I never meant to. It just happened. I swear I didn’t want to hurt him.
Ok. Well, what happened was we were all just sitting around. I was playing a game of Sabacc with Jagged and we were all just talking, you know, the way you do. Hobbie of course had to bring up the situation that we are in. Why he always chooses to talk like that I’ll never understand. He started going on about how he thought that we would never get out of here. “Have faith in Wedge, he’s never let us down yet.” Jag told him. “But this time it’s different. This isn’t like a battle. Tactics and shooting things won’t get us out this time. We’re doomed!” Hobbie announced.
“Shut up, Hobbie. Wedge will get us out.” I told him. He should have heard the warning in my voice. I was fed up with his stupid self-pity and death predictions. But he continued. “Hobbie.” I almost growled. And then he turned on me. “And where are your Force powers? Shouldn’t you be doing something useful instead of sitting here playing a stupid game? Aren’t you supposed to be good at fixing things? Why not this?”
And that did it, the anger coursed through me. I could feel the power that it gave me. And I gave into it. My resistance was weak. It was so easy. All I had to do was to lift my hand slightly and started to squeeze with the Force. I could feel it wrapping around his trachea pushing the life out of him. A strange sense of satisfaction was coming over me.
And then I was on the floor; some one was screaming my name over and over and over. “Jaina Solo! Jaina Solo! JAINA SOLO!”
I let go of the feeling of power and at the same time I heard a body hit the floor. Everything was clear again and I could see Hobbie’s body lying crumpled on the ground. Wedge was standing over him. “He’s alive but we’d better get him up to Sick Bay to give him some oxygen.” I looked side ways and Jag was lying with his arm around my waste. He must have tacked me to the ground. Every one was looking at me. I stood up shaking. “I…I…I didn’t mean…” My words trailed off as I stumbled backwards before running back to my room. I locked the door not knowing what else to do. What if I had killed him? What would I have done then?

Wedge came to try and talk to me but I didn’t answer him. He’s come up every day since leaving food and trying to make me come out but I won’t. I might give in again. I might become like my Grandfather. I don’t ever want that to happen.The dreams with him in them have stopped. They’ve been replaced with ones of Kyp Durron calling out to me. Telling me to come back to the light. I try to tell him that I want to but I can never get the words out.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Falling into the Dark.

Ok, so I was touching the Dark Side, the thing that I had always tried to protect myself against, the thing I was warned about from an early age. My first instinct was to run, to run and keep running until I was far away and could figure out how to deal with it but I was lost in space, with nowhere to go and no one to talk to. “If only Uncle Luke were still here.” But thoughts like that were all in vain. He wasn’t here and besides, he might be more of a risk than me. He who was never tempted by the Dark Side thrown into its very clutches! No, it was better that he wasn’t here.
I made my way through the small gatherings of pilots to get back to my room. A few voices called out to me but I didn’t answer them or even hear them clearly. I sank onto my bed and fell into a disturbed sleep.

There was Darth Vader, he was offering his hand to someone, I assumed it was Uncle Luke. But to my horror I saw a hand reach out and grab Darth Vader’s, then I saw clearly. It wasn’t Uncle Luke he was offering his hand to, it was me!





I woke, gasping for air. It took me a minute to realise it was only a dream and it only took me a minute longer to remember what had caused the dream. I was reaching out to the Force to try and find some light but I only succeeded in bringing the darkness closer to me. I could feel in penetrating my body and soul. I dashed into the shower hopping that it would get rid of the feeling for a while. It helped a little. As I dressed I set up a barrier around myself. It should keep the darkness away for a while.

I wandered down to the mess for something to eat and sat down with the boys. Hobbie was his usual cheerful self. “We are all going to die here, no one knows what happened, no one knows where we are and no one knows how to get home.”
I reached out and cuffed him round the back of the head. “Shut-up, would you? I’ve got far more reason to be morbid than you.” I stalked off, ignoring the questioning glances from the rest of the table and surprised at myself, I can normally keep my temper under check but then, these weren’t normal circumstances.

I found Commander Antillies in his office and he explained to me what had happened.
Great! I was falling victim to the Dark Side because some pea-brained idiot had done something that you are never supposed to do.
I took a minute to renew my barrier but I could feel my resistance weakening, much longer here and I’ll be a very different Jaina Solo.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

The Dark Hole of Darkness.

The shock was so great I had to sit down. I felt like a hand was clutching at my heart and squeezing it, I was finding it hard to breathe. I gasped for breath and Wedge was at my side in an instant. "Jaina, are you ok?"
I stuggled to stand up, "Yea...I'll be fine in a minute." Wedge pushed me down.
"Sit there." He commanded, "I'll get someone to check you out."
"No, I'm fine really." I took a deep breath and stood up. "What happened? Where are we?" The change in the Force was still troubling me but I pushed it to the back of my mind.
"Well, we were trying to make the jump back to the Outer Rim but it appears something went wrong." He pointed out a window. There was a huge, ever changing hole in the System. "We don't know what it is, but we think that it's the reason that all the strange stuff has been happening." As I looked at it, the shift in the Force began to mean something to me. Wedge mightn't know what it was but I did. It was the ultimate Black Hole, so strong that it could suck the light from everything... including the Force. I was touching the Dark Side and a possible danger to everyone in the squadron.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

What is this? Crazy Land?

Wow! The strangest thing happened when we jumped to hyperspace. All my controls shut down but there wasn't a thing wrong! I was freaking out because I was completely cut off from the Force. That has never happened to be before. Even when I was a baby I was connected to it, though I wasn't aware of what it was then. So there I was freaking out because I was without the Force, no controls, no connection to the rest of the fleet with my air in danger of turning off! I felt like I was blacking out.
Then suddenly, with no warning all my controls came back on and I could feel the Force again! It took me a few minutes to realize that someone was shouting in my ear. "Rouge 11, Rouge 11! Come in Rouge 11. Sticks? Are you Ok? STICKS! For the love of all that is good answer me. Your Dad will have my head if you're not Ok! STICKS!!!"
I managed a faint smile, Commander Antillies. "I'm fine Commader, and if anything had happened to me it would be my ghost I'd be worried about."
"This is no time for jokes, Lutient. Fly straight into the main hanager. No funny routes. Directly in. And don't look out your side windows either."
I could hear the concern in his voice. Resisting the urge to look out the windows I flew directly into the hanager. And that was when I felt it. I might be connceted to the force again but it wasn't the force I was familiar with...

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Good-Byes!

I woke in a cold sweat. I had had a terrible dream. I sat up and tried to remember it but it was slipping through my fingertips. There was a battle.... and Jacen was there..... but I couldn't see Anakin.... pain... there was suffering.... and then it was gone.
I got up and had a shower. I pulled on my jumpsuit because I had a feeling that I would need it on. As I walked into the mess for breakfast Mum greeted me.
"Afternoon Jaina!"
Afternoon!! I looked at my watch. It was one O'Clock! I had overslept big time! I sat down to get something to eat. I was starving. "I'm going home today." announced Mum.
"What but you only just got here!"
"I know but I never planned to stay long and yout Uncle Luke wants to get away as soon as possible."
I nearly choked on my sandwitch. "You're both going?" I was going to be left by myself?
Mum nodded. "Sorry love but it'll be good for you."
I didn't want her to go. She'd only just got here and now she was leaving. There was so much I wanted to tell her. The strange visions I had yesterday and the scary dream.
She must have seen it written on my face because she came round to give me a huge hug. "You are strong Jaina. You will always get through anything."
"Thanks Mum" I said as I hugged her back.

~~~~~~~~~

I waved gently through a window at the departing ship that bore my kin back to their homes. I felt a hand on my shoulder. "We all miss people sometimes, Jaina." Wedge's familiar voice comforted me but when I turned around he was gone. I turned back to look out the window but the ship was gone. I sighed and another voice spoke to me. "Path ways often hurt your heart Solo." Jagged Fel. I didn't want to talk to him but I felt my mouth opening and saying defensively, "I'm not hurting." If I had bothered to reach out with my feelings I would have discovered that he wasn't talking or feeling the way he normaly does.
As I turned to walk out of the room with out looking at him the Klaxton went. As I rushed out to my X-Wing I thought I knew I'd need my jumpsuit on today!